Thursday, November 18, 2010

Because If It's Not In an Outline Format I Can't Understand It

If making plans are intricate for something than I need to have it laid out in a preposterous outline format, or I just know I'll leave out the details. Lately I have come to hear myself frequently say, "I can't talk about this without my notes," or "I am useless without my calendar." I swear to you, this is an e-mail I actually sent to family members (with names changed, like anybody cares really, but I feel like I should change them, which is silly, but you know, whatever), with the subject heading "Holiday Plans Ridiculously Outlined In an Almost MLA-like Format."

Holiday Plans
I. Nov 27th: We are all getting together on Sat, Nov 27th. Is that when we're celebrating Hanukah (since Hanukah starts Dec 2nd) or my dad's b-day? In my planner I wrote "Hanukah." But then my dad's b-day being the 29th, my brother speculated that perhaps Nov 27th might be when we're celebrating my dad's b-day? So now I need some clarification because I am easily confused. It's amazing I get anything done really.
II. Dec 5th: We are all getting together Sunday, Dec 5th. Is that for Hanukah or my dad's b-day?
III. Meal Clarification: Which meals are both of these events for? I asked to work the early shift on Sat, Nov 27th so I could leave early and meet up for dinner. Sunday Dec 5th is more flexible for me.
  A. Reservations: Have any reservations already been made at any restaurants? If not, my brother volunteered to make them.
     1. If they have been made, where should we meet and when?
  B. Reservation-related details: If they have not been made, here are questions my brother requested to have answered to make said reservations:
      1. Does dad have a prefereance where he wants to go?
      2. How many people should he make the reservation for?
If you need me I'll be in the office supply section of Office Depot.

I feel like maybe I should expand this into some ridiculous flash fiction thing. Using gimmicky devices for short fiction pieces seems like it's all the rage right now. Book blurbs that tell a story! Stereo instructions that tell a story! FAQ's that tell a story! My butt! It tells a story!

Oh! Someone better go tell McSweeney's!

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