Sunday, May 15, 2011

Kambodian Karaoke Disc Viewing pt II: My Questionably Offensive Blow By Blow Reportage In Real-Time Viewing of Cambodian Karaoke DIsc Videos That My Friend Sends Me, In Successive E-mail Bursts Collecting Commentary Made By Me and My Husband Joe, All of Which Sound Like Little Poems


We are sucking on your barley mints you gave me for my birthday and enjoying the karaoke discs. They are delicious.

The mints, I mean.

Although the discs are delicious as well.

Was I not supposed to eat them?

This video features a tomboy who both falls for and is rescued by her best friend's boyfriend. The boyfriend drives a Lexus mini van. She's from the wrong side of the tracks, and as the video continues the narrative progresses as a montage of her becoming girlier.

When they smash a bottle on the male love interest's head, it makes a loud crash, which is weird for a song. Also weird: the girl is wearing a baseball hat that merely says "80s."

Such a tragic ending.

Cambodia is not particularly big on the happily ever after videos.

Joe claims that the "Oh! My Friend" song/video we just watched was really about one of them trying to get train fare from the other.

In this song, we can definitely hear an electric accordion, or maybe it's a keyboard made to sound like an accordion. Unfortunately there is no accordion in this video, just a lady singing in a sack dress missing one shoulder. The dress is missing a shoulder, not the lady, although that would be much more interesting if the lady was missing a shoulder. And she's standing between 2 trees. Not a lot of plotline.

I should mention that each video ends with some text. We speculate that instead of being the credits typically seen at the end of karaoke videos that they're proverbs of some sort, like, "Always stand by your friends if they have their hair combed forword."

This next video shows a lady in different outfits, sometimes in a t-shirt with a skull on it. And sometimes she's in front of some mystical stone structure that has crazy clouds moving in fast forward above her, like an 80s video.  Her mouth is slightly slanted to the right and we speculated that maybe she had a stroke or has Bells palsey.

On the box to this DVD there's a picture of a chicken and it says "Master Grill." Was this disc purchased at a Cambodian fried chicken restaurant? Also, in the video presently on, the woman singing is in front of what looks like a rocking band, but then there's also a keyboard that is clearly not in the music playing. This song sounds like "Masterplan" by Oasis. Do they sell Oasis discs at a Cambodian fried chicken fast food chain?

Also, this woman's jeans are only stonewashed in the front, as if they are chaps. Who wears stonewashed chaps?!

Joe speculated that the maxim at the end of the last video was "We are available for parties and bar mitzvahs."

In the current video, a man walks through a city. Literally, like he's taller than the buidlings.

In another scene he is singing in front of drums, but nobody is actually playing the drums. Maybe he's a one man band and he can only do one thing at a time?

Joe just went upstairs for a second to put on pajamas. I said, "Do you want me to pause it?"

He answered definitively and loudly, "NO!"


A buddy song! 2 guys! One with a blonde mohawk, and one with a darker mohawk. Sort of Ebony and Sort of Ivory. This song has an English subtitle and chorus refrain, "Oh! My Friend." And a saxophone. An obvious WHAM influence.

And that saxaphone is heavy on flourishes.

A key change elevates the emphasis of the song's sentiment. When will they have sex?

You'll be happy to hear the video about the tomboy girl ditched by the rich boyfriend who abandoned her after being beat up by his friends, well, there is a sequel.

The sequel features the same female protagonist/narrator sitting on a window sill, pensively considering her time with the male love interest. She is older, wiser, and has honed her skills with makeup.

She reminisces on her time with the male love interest and how they would go to playgrounds and drink slurpies.

Also, she now lives in some sort of villa with a quad.

But oh! That was a reconciliation video, where he visits her and they hug.

He kind of looks like MC Lars.

If MC Lars were Asian and had feathered hair combed forward.


The guy with a wispy mustache and overly pushed forward hair guy is barging in with a knife.

That video ended abruptly.

But not before someone got stabbed and died and blood gushed out.

Karaoke Horror! Like Ryu Murakami's Karaoke Terror: The Complete Japanese Showa Songbook.

Joe and I are wondering: Is this disc all sad ballads?

Lots of piano.

Why is this man standing by the side of the highway? It's a grey day and nothing is going on in the background. The cinematography is not that good.

Also, sometimes the guy singing is standing in front of a bunch of drawings of buildings, which we think might be Wesley Willis drawings. Is he big in Cambodia? Well, he was big everywhere; he was a very large man. Now he is big nowhere because he is dead.

OH MY GOD! This video started with someone stabbed and dead and people crying! 

And there's all these kids drinking. What is the drinking age in Cambodia?!!?!

This song features a guy with peroxided hair in a shoe store with pin fixtures. He looks like he's 12.  Both of us agree that he has very nice skin, although his eyebrows are infinitely darker then his hair.

There's a very prominent sitar in this song that is very attractive to our ears. Both Joe and I are in strong agreement of this point.

Parts of this video feature the singer in front of a carnival ride.

Now the love interest is breaking up with him and leaving him stranded with his balloons and roses. As the video ends, Joe reassures me, "That's OK. He's really gay."


Oh my god! Someone got run over by a Chrysler La Baron!

Oh, it was just a dream.


Why is there only one drunk woman in a restaurant being carried out by her boyfriend?

He's putting a wet rag on her forehead to help nurse her hangover.

Also, they are the only people in a movie theater.

And now the guy is drinking a bottle of champagne and throwing it over the bridge.

Is this song about a destructive relationship that focuses on the destructiveness of alcohol?

OH MY GOD!!! They have a blooper reel.

What you don't know if that they used a green screen for parts of the videos.


Did you eat at the Master Grill? Because their logo is on the DVD we just watched from you (see attached). 
Joe pointed out that they deliver. How late do you think they'll go? I'm starving. And I need some karaoke. I know just the place.

Also, we are excited by the prospect of the company that made the disc (M Production) we just watched can provide treasure hunts:

Also, they stated on their website that they are looking for the "Newface in whole world" Does that come with the chicken do you think?

Also, I very much like their operating philosophy as stated on their web site:

Individuals will enjoy a gradually increasing amount of discretionary time, both on and off the job. This is an irony, as most will perceive that they have less time to do the things they want.

Could I have said it better?

No, I think not.


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